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Love and Support for Families with Childhood Cancer

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May 15 2018

Welcome Rebecca to our Why Me Staff!

Some of you may have noticed a new (yet somewhat familiar) face working at our fundraising events and around Sherry’s House lately.  We would like to welcome Rebecca Kuczarski as the new Director of Fundraising for Sherry’s House! Rebecca is a Why Me mom who was first introduced to the organization over 5 years ago when her youngest daughter, Sophia, was diagnosed with Leukemia.  During that time Rebecca and her family participated in many family events and support groups.

Following the loss of Sophia in 2012, Rebecca dedicated herself to bettering the lives of families facing pediatric cancer. She has done this  through several fundraising positions – one of which includes the family’s own grass roots non-profit, the Sophia FUNd.  “I love running our yearly kickball event. It is a nice way for our friends and family to honor and remember Sophia.” Kuczarski goes on to explain that the event continues to grow each year and while they are proud to contribute to Why Me, with a portion of the proceeds from this event, she always wanted to do more.  “Our event is once a year. We have fun and raise a lot of money, but in my new position at Why Me I get to work more closely with families and donors.  I am excited to be a part of helping Why Me grow their support for families.”

Rebecca has quickly  become a valued member of the team; diving right in at the busiest time of our fundraising season.  “It is exciting to see each event from behind the scenes, start to finish. It takes a lot of coordination to host successful events.  It feels good to be a part of a team where everyone is so dedicated to the success of each event.” In addition to seeing the events Kuczarski says it is inspiring to be in a space where she can see exactly where the money is going.  With increases in this year’s funding Why Me has been able to offer new Family Fun events for all Why Me families as well as increase support to those living at Sherry’s House.  

Why Me & Sherry’s House is an organization conceived, founded and run in part by families that have lived childhood cancer personally. This unique personal perspective has always provided clarity of our mission and an understanding of what families need. Parents who have lived this experience are passionate and focused and are one of the driving forces behind our success. Rebecca, as a Why Me parent, understands what we do and why it is so important.

Welcome Rebecca!

Read Rebecca’s bio here.

Category: Why Me News · Tagged: childhood cancer, fundraising, pediatric cancer

Mar 22 2018

Healing Retreat

Each year after the holiday rush has settled, in the quiet months of winter,  Why Me hosts a weekend retreat for parents who have lost a child to cancer. The retreat began in the 90’s and has traditionally been held in a camp like setting over a three day two night weekend,  giving parents an opportunity to explore their grief away from the demands of daily life.

 

This year, parents gathered at the The Grotonwood Camp in northern Massachusetts.  As parents arrive for the weekend starting with Friday night dinner, the dining hall swelled with hugs and hellos.   Tables fill with photo boards, albums and mementos – traveling shrines. Between 30 and 50 parents gather at the retreat each year – some have been coming for decades others are newly bereaved –  all hoping to gain some new understanding of where they are and where they have been.

It can be difficult to keep up with life after your child dies.  As the years go on the grief shifts but it never goes away. Taking away the demands of everyday life, the weekend retreat offers parents who are in all stages of loss a few precious days to reflect on the time that has passed and explore their ever changing feelings after loss.  

 

Grace and Anthony Fortunato first came to camp in 2015 after their son Dylan died of relapsed ALL (Acute Lymphoblastic Leukemia) at age 13. At the time, the retreat was held at Hole in the Wall Gang Camp where the Fortunato family shared many memories over the years. “Hole in the Wall was a magical place where he (Dylan) was able to go and feel like he belonged. He could be with other kids like him. His brothers could also better understand his experiences and feel included. They could talk about cancer but also just have fun.”  Ms. Fortunato remembers. She draws the parallels to her experiences at the Why Me retreat.  

 

It has been a difficult year for Grace and Anthony. She has been struggling with health issues and he recently suffered a heart attack.  It is not uncommon that parents find their own health failing after the devastating loss of a child. Years of consuming treatments, hospital stays and therapies often means parents put their personal needs aside. At camp many parents share similar stories. “We spend so much time taking care of everyone else, when it’s over we find ourselves broken in so many ways. It is hard for our friends and families to relate.  It is hard to put our family back together. I worry about my other children, Jordan and Ryan. I was away caring for Dylan for so long.” Mrs. Fortunato explains.

 

Caring for surviving children is the most talked about topic in bereavement support groups. A few years ago it was offered that adult bereaved siblings could accompany their parents to the retreat.  This shift in the programing has proven to be of great value to both the siblings and parents. In bereavement groups everywhere surviving children are often a main topic of conversation. Including their perspective (as adults) at the retreat gives parents of younger children insight on how to best help their children cope with loss and the assurance that their children will in fact be ok. Likewise, adult siblings share that they feel humbled by the depth of care and concern they see from the grieving parents towards their surviving children.  While grief is often thought of as a solitary venture this exchange across generations helps neutralize some of the deepest pains.

 

Grief is, after all, about love and connection. The retreat is set up to provide space for tending  to that love, an act that is often misinterpreted by the outside world. Here, parents can be the parent of a child who is not living.  They can reminisce and tell stories that happened decades ago as if it were yesterday. Sharing experiences as a group creates an opportunity for parents to reflect and see how far they have come, while being surrounded by the insights of those who are further along. After time, parents who once struggled to show up find themselves helping others, something they never thought possible. Together they discover that there are few things more healing than being in community with each other.

 

The weekend is facilitated by Lou Bergholz who has been with the group since 1999.  Lou adds a levity to the retreat, anchored by an awareness and sensitivity to the group’s needs that can only come from time and experience. He opens the door for parents to connect and laugh without guilt – sometimes for the first time since their child’s death. ”This group has become an extended family to me.  I have seen the growth and healing happen among the long-timers, and the hope and connection happen for newcomers. The journey through grieving is not time bound or easily plotted. It’s been a profound honor in my life to bear witness to participants in this group making their way.” Bergholz explains. Camp teaches you that you can have joy and sadness in your heart at the same time.


“I always look forward to seeing what Lou has planned for us.  With Julian entertaining us with music and Debbie having lots of craft activities for us to work on.  It is a good balance.” Fortunato shares. This year, like every passing year, was different and new.  For the first time since its inception the Circle of Healing retreat was held in a new location. While the walls that held us felt unfamiliar at first in the end the weekend proved that the power and the purpose lie in the people not the place.  

Further information regarding our support groups can be found here.

Category: Family Posts · Tagged: bereavement, childhood cancer

Feb 17 2017

The Kuczarski Family Fill the Pantry Challenge

The Kuczarski Family Fill the Pantry Challenge

In the years after their youngest daughter Sophia lost her life to cancer, the Kuczarski family has remained a part of the Why Me family, both through their participation in bereavement programming offered at the house and through an active role as fundraisers and volunteers.

 

Rebecca Kuczarski explains “The support that Sherry’s House provided our family during Sophia’s illness and after her death has been a great source of comfort to our family.  It is important for us to remain involved and show our kids that we are now in a place where we can give back to the house and help other families.”

 

The family started a Kickball tournament in Sophia’s name, Kickin’ it for The Sophia FUNd, the proceeds of which have supported various Why Me families and programs.  They have donated gas cards, hospital care packages, helped with funeral costs, and funded memory making activities for Why Me families.  A few times a year they like to stock the Sherry’s House food pantry.  “We know what a relief that pantry can be to families who have been forced down to one income or who just can’t get to the grocery store after long days at the hospital.” Rebecca shares.

 

This year the Kuczarski’s decided to take their giving up a notch and created the first annual Food Pantry Challenge.  “We challenged our kids, Ethan and Hannah, to each assemble a team of friends to shop with.  We gave them each a budget and set some ground rules.”   The Kuczarski’s wanted to create an opportunity for their children to include their friends in the giving.  “Many of the kids from school participate in the kickball tournament and we wanted to give them an opportunity to experience the house and see where their donations are going.” Eric Kuczarski adds.  

 

The teams gathered and were given 30 mins to prepare for their shopping trip.  The Tweens (Hannah’s team) prepared by collecting reusable bags, saving them .05 per bag, coupons and a detailed  list.  The Teen Team (Ethan’s team) took a more laid back approach working off of sales in the store.  Both teams were driven to their respective Price Chopper Markets, the clock was set and the shopping began!

Teen Team Tween Team

 

 

The teams chose items from the Sherry’s House pantry WISH LIST and were awarded extra points for high need items.  They had 1 hour to shop and were deducted points if they were not in line by the buzzer.  With a gentle reminder over the grocery store loudspeaker “Attention Sophia Fund Shoppers this is your 5 min warning.” both teams made it to the checkout in time!

 

Food Pantry Challenge

Both groups reconvened at Sherry’s House where they lay out their bounty for the judges.  “The kids really enjoyed showing their friends the house. They could show them that it is a fun and happy place.”  

The Kuczarski’s invited the kids living in the house to participate in the judging process.

The Tweens won, 101 to 80,  thanks to their careful planning and secret cost saving strategies.  The first place winning was a day at Sky Zone.  The runners up walked away with a pizza party.  Both teams were prized with new friends and lasting memories.

Sherry's House Food Pantry “It was great to fill the pantry, but this time was different.  Having all of the kids, my kids, their friends and the kids at the house, working together and having fun together made a lasting impact on them.”  Rebecca goes on to explain that this experience also helped to normalize cancer and Sherry’s House for Ethan and Hannah’s friends, which is important to them as a family as they continue to navigate life without Sophia.

 

The Kuczarski’s say they look forward to the next Food Pantry Challenge where they will invite new friends to participate and continue to spread awareness of the needs of the house.  

 

For more information on donating to the Sherry’s House Food Pantry visit Sherry’s House Wish List or call (508) 757-7734

 

Category: Donations, Why Me News · Tagged: childhood cancer, donate, food pantry, give back, leukemia, volunteer

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